Moscow & Irkutsk

May 23, 1999, Erik and Gina CELEBRATE their last days as DINKS! (Double Income No Kids) We splurged and went out for a hot date! Steak dinner and a movie: The Phantom Menace! May 24, 1999, Our Aunt Diane zips us to the airport and we have a little lunch together and prayer! We board our plane for Moscow at around 4:00 p.m. WE CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS WE WILL MEET OUR CHILDREN!!! May 25, 1999 or is it the 26th? It's weird to fly through about 8 or more time zones! We flew on the Russian airline Aeroflot International and Domestic. Excerpt from our E-mail Journal: Flight to Moscow and Irkutsk Our plane ride was very pleasant. Yes, Aeroflot was not a spruced up kind of deal, but we got seated in front of an exit and had ample leg room. We threw our bags on the floor and stretched out. We were impressed with the food, too. We dined on Chicken Cordon Blue and toasted with Benedryl (you know, the stuff that knocks you out for a couple of hours!) It was a nine hour plane ride to Moscow (less than what I originally thought). We are soooo glad we did Aeroflot for the very reason that it didn't make any other stops on the way. We realize now how much of a blessing that will be on the way home with our two little ones. Our domestic flight was a tad bit more "tight". We made friends with a lady who practiced her English on us. She was very curious about why we had chosen Russian children and why WE JUST DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN OF OUR OWN (I love that line). We explained that at this time we couldn't have children of our own and that we had prayed to God and believe He lead us to go to Russia. She then opened up and with a smile told us that she had a friend in Murmansk who had a baby and decided to give the child up for adoption to an American family. She then looked at us and gave her approval, concluding that we were good people (ya, ya, some of you are arguing with her at this point…we don't blame you) and God watched from heaven and decided to chose these two Russian children to become ours. She told us she thought we would be good parents. We were grateful she saw our adoption as a good thing. I have always wondered what the Russian folks think of us adopting their precious children. We had no real problems with customs, but they did make us buy an extra bag and redistribute our luggage because the requirement for each bag was 40lbs and no more!!! It was rather silly considering the fact that they took all our luggage anyhow. But at this point, who dares argue! :o) We just want to see our babies! HOMEPAGE   Adoption Stories

First Visit and Court Date

May 26, 1999 Excerpt from our E-mail Journal: Meeting Our Children! YEAH! WE MADE IT! WE ARE FINALLY IN IRKUTSK, RUSSIA! Alex and Andrew picked us up from the airport at 4:30 a.m. Irkutsk time. We then had to nab a taxi to our apartment. We arrived and were told we would be picked up again at 9:30 a.m. to go see our little girl Zhenya at Baby Home #1. O.K. I'll get to the good part. We got to the baby home and a sudden wave of nervousness hit me. It finally dawned on me that we would be going home with two ready-made children that have little developed personalities. No "tabla rasa" here! It was strange to realize that we don't know them and they don't know us and I no longer had a job to run off to in the morning. This little one and the one we had yet to see were my new occupation! WHEW! What's more, I realized that it was no longer just going to be Erik and Gina (O.K. and Winston, our canine pre-parenting experiment), but Erik, Gina, Zhenya and Aleks (and Winston!). A dozen questions ran through my mind as we approached the front door Who is she? What is she like? Will she be frightened? What if she really doesn't want a Mama and Papa? What if I don't cry? Am I supposed to cry? Ahhhhh! Are we crazy! What in the world are we DOING! I was shaking a little when we were talking to the Director. Not because she was some aloof authority figure, but because my emotions were having a free for all! One of the first things she said is that we were quite lucky! since we were about to adopt a VERY good child. She emphasized this a lot. We realized she was right on target when we finally met her. She is a very compliant child - but maybe not for long, eh? Well, we were led into the hallway and were going to go visit a little classroom when Alex and some of the other people present from the orphanage all said "Oh, HERE SHE COMES!" I took a peak around the corner and this tiny little gift wrapped package (you know, the BIG Russian bow on the head just makes the analogy come alive) was slowly making her way up the stairs holding on to her caretaker's hand. I can not tell you how tiny she is! She is petite and very thin. O.K. so we are here in this awkward hallway and trying to get down to her height and shooting out all kinds of interjections like: "Oh my!", "She is beautiful", "I can't believe this", "Hi, Zhenya…hi Sweetie" . For a moment I thought I would loose it, but she was just too cute and we were so distracted that I couldn't even think of crying. We were ushered into the guest room with her and proceeded to woo her onto our laps with all the goodies we brought. The low down is that this child is crazy about blowing bubbles, is totally into orange lollipops and loved the platypus beanie baby! Of course, Erik was the first one to make her smile! She just took to her new Papa like a big toy! We spent an hour with her and got her medical, social, psychological, educational updates. She warmed up to us quickly and by the end of our time, she was giving us kisses on the cheeks and imitating us when we would point to one of us and say "Eta Mama, Zhenya" or "Eta Papa, Zhenya". She caught on eventually and we soaked it up! Though I think at this point in time, she really doesn't understand anything except that there are these two people who make animal noises, tickle her and give her yummy fruit snacks and lollipops. Hey! Ya gotta start somewhere! She wasn't familiar with the lollipop concept at first, but a smart little girl like that doesn't take long to figure it out. So we got one out and showed her how to suck on it. She imitated us and since Erik and I were sharing ours, she decided it just wouldn't be right to leave her out of the game. So she put the lollipop in her mouth and then held it up to my face with a smile so I had a lick and then it went back in her mouth and then up to Erik who wouldn't let go of it and she got a kick out of the fact that she had to pull hard to take it back. The best was when we would ask her in Russian (pointing at some object: a shoe or toy) "Zhenya, eta shto?" She would tell us in Russian and Andrew would have to translate it. It was cute when she would respond with diminuatives like "the little shoe" or " the little house". We thought we'd throw out an English word and see if she would repeat it. She imitated perfectly! Her teacher said that she is very sorry to lose her. She was very serious when she said that she was the brightest child in her class and loves puzzles, imitates very well and is very curious and willing to learn something new! Tomorrow we will observe her in action in class. Just before we left, her caretaker invited us into the room with her group. They were all sitting at the table and since we had her, she was late for lunch. We waved good bye to the children and some of them waved back (some are just too young to know how to respond). She was downing a big bowl of soup and raised her head just momentarily to waved good bye. She went right back to the soup. We ran out and had to catch a taxi to Angarsk to see our little boy. Believe it or not, but it was like 88 degrees outside. We checked the Internet before we left and had to take out all our cool weather clothing. So glad we did. So, we arrive in Angarsk and it is this pretty looking city that Alex tells us was made to look like St. Petersburg. It really made a difference. We ate pelmeni for lunch and then went to the baby home. The Baby Home in Angarsk is very pretty and we walked into the Director's office, this time not feeling as nervous. A bunch of women were there and they were very pleased to see us. One woman in particular, a caretaker during the day, immediately piped up and with a huge smile blurted out that Yevgeniy was her favorite child in the whole orphanage. She was so jovial!!! She then said that Yevgeniy's new Papa was handsome (and of course, I heartily agreed with her on this) but that he would grow up to look like his new Mama. We don't know why she said this, but maybe she saw some feature that stuck out (must have been the nose…we think ;o) ). We are ushered upstairs and our little guy is just not very happy because his caretaker had to wake him from his nap for us. She finally got him presentable and brought out this HUGE baby! It was the first of many shocks. He had one of those cool flat top cuts that remind me of my brother! I got such a kick out of it! He has dark blue eyes, with "to-die-for" eyelashes and he is definitely a brunette. He frowned a little at first, but Erik has this persuasive thing with kids and Yevgeniy went to him first and sat on his lap while I dangled a plastic key ring and other little toys in front of him. YES!! He walks already!! Once he got used to us, the smiles started rolling in and we sat on the floor somewhat far apart and he had a blast walking to each of us with that stumbling kind of walk that little ones have when they first start wobbling about. The real DOOSIE came when we were asked if we wanted to help feed him. Sure, I said, this will be great! Well, they sat him down at this little plastic table and asked me to "spot" him. She brought out a plate of cookies (about eight total, but small size cookies). He became very animated and maybe even nervous at the sight of them and immediately grabbed one and took a bite. He put that one in the right hand and with the left went for the next. He took a bite and proceeded to collect all eight cookies this way. His chubby (I'm talk'n CHUBBY) little fingers couldn't hold them all but that was of no consequence. He crammed the cookies into his little mouth and collected more. When parts of cookie fell, I laughed and said "uh oh", but this was SERIOUS business for him! I didn't think much of it at first. Then came the curds or cottage cheese thing. The caretaker placed the little bowl in front of this one year old and handed him a huge adult soup spoon. He had half-eaten cookies in one hand and in the other the large soup spoon. He proceed to adjust the spoon in his hand to get better leverage (while I'm sitting there in shock that this one year old is even doing this) and he starts cramming curds into his little mouth. O.K. so my maternal instincts kick in at this point, and Daddy is taking historic footage of the scene and I decide to "help him". YA RIGHT! He made it very clear that he was in control of the food situation and was unhappy with me when I reached to help his hand with the huge soup spoon. He was determined to collect all of cottage cheese curds on his own. I tried this three times and each time he would whip that spoon over his head and all about as if to say: "Look, you just leave my curds and spoon alone!" My initial response was: "Darn, I knew I should have purchased that James Dobson book on strong-willed children!" But as the scene continued I began to realize that this had nothing to do with strong will; it was a fear that we were going to end his meal prematurely. I was still quite shocked at his determination for independence. With video camera still rolling, the caretaker now brings out a cup of hot tea for him. Now when I say hot, I mean, this is the temperature an adult might consider drinking a cup of coffee at. But I would NEVER give that temperature to a child. I would imagine squeals of pain or reactions like holding their tongue out as if to say "I burned myself - HELP!" Well, I was re-shocked (yes, this new word does apply here) when I thought he had pretty much finished his curds and cookies and I tried to withdraw the plate. WHEW! Don't go there! I reached for the tea because the time was getting closer for us to leave and when I picked it up, his feet started moving and he was visibly upset. I gave it to him in hopes to calm him down and he grabbed it with his little hands and put it to his mouth and didn't let it down until he had finished every last drop. Hot or cold, that tea was HIS! We had to say good bye at that point, and I was so shell-shocked by the experience I walked out in a daze. The casual question of "so whaddaya think, Honey" seemed a little out of place, if you know what I mean. I was comforted in the car when I was debriefed that this was normal for babies in orphanages. They are taught to feed themselves and it is a survival skill they have learned to make sure they get FOOD! It was blatant hoarding and he obviously felt he had to protect his portions from me lest I take it away from him. Alex told us that this would pass when he realized that food would be there for him and he would not go hungry with us. The thing is, I didn't perceive the place as not having enough food, but it could also be the timeframe they are given to eat it all. If they don't finish in that timeframe, it will be taken from them and they won't be able to finish it later. These guys are on tight schedules. Well, there is the scoop! Sorry so long, but I just couldn't leave out the details on this one. We are SOOO blessed and YES we are going through with it! Our court date is Friday! Please pray that all goes well. The next ten days will be spent getting to know them better. We have been told that these small meetings really prepare the children for their final departure. One mother said that by the end of the ten days, her little boy was asking her when he could go home with his new Mama. We hope and pray God will prepare them for us in this way as well. So far, this has been a wonderful adventure and we would have it no other way. God has given good gifts once again. Thanks for listening! BTW, pray for protection with the taxi thing. It REALLY is dangerous driving here. That "just-missed-it" mentality is no comfort to two parents anxious to make it safely back in one piece with their new children. Now, I am off to sleep with the mosquitoes! Yahoo! God's Richest Blessings to you! Gina (who is wide awake), Erik (who is dead tired and sleeping away), and our two little Siberian Treasures! Zhenya and Aleks (who haven't a clue about what is going to happen to them..but we do!) COURTDATE On May 28, 1999 under Judge Burdukova and with the Russian Government's consent, Erik and I became parents to Zhenya Shumailova, now, Jenna Eugenia Widholm and Eugeni Tretyak, now, Aleksander Erik Widholm. Erik and I celebrated our sixth year anniversary in Irkutsk by finally adopting our two Siberian Treasures! (The Mercy Medical Mission Team and New Parents!  Without these HARDWORKING AND PATIENT folks we would not have our precious children. Many thanks to Tanya, Alex and Andrew! God uses them GREATLY!) HOMEPAGE   Adoption Stories